On one side of me, an ancestral chthonic spirit that is 199.999% predatory as fuck, able to do that one thing that instantly panics me, and is accompanied by the sound of a thousand gnashing teeth.
On the other side of me, a dead dog that likes to chase the sun into setting, gives no fucks about being a good boy but would rather gnaw on your bones instead, and carries souls over the river.
I don’t have enough coffee to deal with this shit.