I understand now that neither Will nor Knowledge will get me past the flames. The answer is Desire and the lust must be for Union.
If I give up, nothing really changes. This is a Bastard Path anyway and none of this is “real”.
If I persist, if I ascend the Holy Mountain past that point, I will be altered yet again, and by a process that terrifies me.
I haven’t decided yet.
I lied.