Rant: Black Enough?

“Yes, I heard about the new blog at Patheos with black Pagans. Excuse me, I have an insecurity to cover up.”

@Philosarific, asked me (tongue-in-cheek) what was I wearing in response to that tweet. He probably has no idea the emotional cave-in that resulted from such a tiny tap. “I’m tripping over my shame again, aren’t I.”, was my reply. Continue reading “Rant: Black Enough?”

I, Eye

The iris of the Eye of Horus is colors, flashing colors, and the inverse of colors. The pupil of the Eye of Horus is always the inverse of the iris.

I look upon it and the splendor forces me to look away let I am destroyed by the gaze. I look upon it again with my eyes, and again the splendor forces my eyes to the ground. I leave my eyes behind, and can look upon the Eye of Horus clearly. Once I leave my blinded eyes behind, I see my Eye is Blue.
Continue reading “I, Eye”

Dream: So Many Mysteries

Would you believe I have a hard time keeping a magical diary? I found I had so little to write about. Me, not having anything to write. Heh. That may change in the near future.

Earlier this morning, I had the sudden vision of a yoni in the shape of a vesica. Don’t ask me how I knew it was a yoni, I just knew. The sight was overwhelming and it triggered a short lasting fit. I promptly forgot all about it.

Several hours later, feeling “not quite here”, I found myself having another fit and decided to lay down and sleep it off.

Laying down, I used a mental image of the seal’s framework to have something to focus on while getting the rest of my mind to shut the fuck up and take a quick nap. The image suddenly flashed with brilliant colors and I lost all sensation of being connected to my physical self. Neither awake, nor asleep, I surrendered to the hypnagogic state and released myself to whatever mysteries unfolded.

~~~ Continue reading “Dream: So Many Mysteries”

Dream: To See

My dear companion, open your eyes. Come see, come see, we are near our destination.
Yes, I have stopped the camels. Yes, it is before the dawn. Yes, the air is cold. But now is the time to see.
Here, wear my robe. I feel no chill. Here, wear my sandals. I would walk on air for this.
Leave my body behind.
Let my ka roam free.
For the chance to see.
Continue reading “Dream: To See”

Dream: The Apostate

The ride to the cathedral was uneventful. I had dozed off and awoke only when the gentle rhythms of the freeway was replaced by the jerks of the unmaintained road. My friend’s face was very grim. His jaw set as tight as his fists on the leather wrapped steering wheel. It was bothering him that I was coming along. I remember he had spoken his concern before we set off.

“Can’t you just give me the items and I’ll use them? I don’t want to sacrifice you to save my brother.” Continue reading “Dream: The Apostate”

Lexicon: Bees

My emphasis on bees in the preamble of the previous post has caused a bit of confusion. Was “Mother” a bee? No. She appeared as a mutant mix of spider, beetle, and praying mantis. And while she is definitely a hive queen, she is no bee. If anything, her behavior was more wasp related.

What import then, do I place on bees that would cause me to dream of them so often? Continue reading “Lexicon: Bees”

Dream: Life for Mother

I’ve dreamt about many an alternate world involving insects before. Been a space marine infiltrating a insectoid species’s space station looking for survivors of a brutal germ warfare attack. (As a human, I was immune.) In another dream, I found myself standing in a field of yellow daisies, standing with arms outstretched while a large swarm of bees covered me from head to foot and even crawled under my clothes. (At the time, I did not understand the significance of the flowers. I probably should revisit that field, now that I know the flower is a favorite of my ancestor.) Bees made another visit to my dreamscape, sheltering me and my young charge from the frigid night by covering us while we were perched delicately in the arms of an acacia tree.

What happens when you lose a bet to a trickster god? From Loki’s point of view, hilarity. From my point of view, lots of dreams where I’m doing something I wouldn’t normally do, or where I’m outright controlled and enthralled. (And a few instances in the Waking as well!) But the enthrallment in each of those dreams ends when I wake up. The act of opening my eyes in the Waking sheds the chains that had bound me. (Loki’s trailing laughter, however, often echoes when I realize I’m awake.)

But this time, the insectoid creature was not friendly. This time, the enthrallment did not end with the morning light. The enthrallment finally faded about an hour after I awoke. It’s been six hours since I woke up from the dream. And I am still both terrified and affected by the enthrallment I was under.

Continue reading “Dream: Life for Mother”

Seal Framework

I’ve been busy doing more than just playing at system administrator. I took the lessons from previous dreams and put them to paper as a rough sketch, then to a graphics program for more precise placement. More specifically, the geometry lessons I received in my dreams.

I won’t bore you with minutiae, I’ll just jump straight to the image in progress.
Continue reading “Seal Framework”

Always Something To Do

Moving the blog from Blogspot to Katalytis has been easier than I thought it would be, and tougher than I thought it would be. For some reason, I’m reminded of quest chains from my MMORPG days (years). In order to have the key to enter the dungeon and save the dipshit of the day, you had to prove yourself worthy by jumping through various digital hoops and complete a set of varied asinine quests. Just when you think things can’t get any stranger, you’re sent off to collect 30 berries from giant’s dung.

Instead of relying on various Post It notes scattered across my desk’s surface, I’ll just keep my ToDo list here. That way, not only will I have the increased pressure of public scrutiny, you fine readers will have the chance to add to my misery, er, um, goals in the comments.

Done:

  • Change all self-referential links to point to Katalytis instead of Blogspot.
  • Change all image sources to point directly to Picasa instead of Blogspot.
  • .htaccess
  • robots.txt
  • Gravatar enabled.
  • Once your first comment is approved, subsequent comments are not delayed. Subject to correction if taken advantage of.
  • “Subscriber” registration is enabled, but not mandatory to leave a comment.
  • OpenID enabled for commenters and registered subscribers. Not mandatory to log in with OpenID to leave a comment, but you will skip the spam check delay if you do.
  • Get raw server log parser as my current client is hopelessly out of date. Still need to get a log parser, but my immediate need has been met with findstr.
  • Enable mobile formatting.

In Progress:

  • Tweak colors and/or template used.

To Do:

  • Reduce the size of the Creative Commons notice & icon.
  • Put the boxes away, but leave one out for LaLa. All boxes put away, find new box for LaLa.