Today the chamber had the appearance of holding the profile of a person within it. Shoulders, neck, head, and some basic features of a face. I was not perturbed to see it, but regarded it as just one more optical illusion caused by the reflection off the polished brass and refraction through the glass front.
After summoning the spirit, I realized I had no pressing questions to ask him. So I fell back to the skill I have had no luck with: Idle chat.
“So… We have today and two more to complete the challenge.”
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 28 – Comfort”
The light of the candles gave the chamber the illusion of the appearance of someone seated cross legged inside the chamber. It was fun to watch how my mind drew a figure from the fewest curves possible.
It took until today for me to realize that when speaking the words “Rede, rede, rede in pace,” that I was also dropping into a light trance and closing my eyes before I had said the final rede. It is a marked difference from my state of awareness at the beginning of the month. It’s not forced or frightening. It feels like I’m sitting down at a table and it’s time to use the quiet voice in conversation now.
So I was not surprised that I was not startled when the afterimage of the candle flames multiplied and became a multitude of glowing leonine eyes floating and staring at me in a mix of challenge and bored observation.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 27 – Sandbox”
Yesterday evening, I managed to complete an elective action that I had been attempting to do for a good part of the month. I could not get myself in the right headspace for it because of my sorrows and had all but given up. The spirit involved in that elective signaled that it wanted to continue despite myself.
That was an interesting lesson, for sure.
Today after the morning obligation and the ritual summoning, [Patient Caller] remarked on the action and the circumstances that led to its delay along with the joy I experienced in finally completing the deceptively simple action.
«There will always be those who will deny you a title for what you do because you are not their ideal. Remember what you did last night. Even if those who wish to limit you take away all the words that describe what you did, they cannot take away the fact that you did it. You are as you are, regardless of by what names or titles you are called, or not.»
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 26 – Solar”
So of course now that I have spoken about collecting the dripped wax for later use, I have been given indication to stop collecting wax as I now “have enough”. Enough for what, I don’t know, yet.
Otherwise, the obligation and the summoning both were completed without any further surprises.
The impetus to close my eyes doesn’t wait for me to attempt to resist before washing down my face. Though, to be honest, I’m so used to it by now that it doesn’t register that I’m feeling an unseen force in the first place.
No difficulties with setting up for my obligation though I did have thoughts of a figure I regard as a “personal saint” intruding throughout the meditation. I’m not sure what to make of it at this time. I will note that he, too, has said that he has never stopped praying for me.
No difficulties with setting up for the summoning to follow. This time I added some water with the cedarwood oil to keep it from immediately overheating and splattering the card. Once I spoke the actual summoning words, my thoughts started chasing themselves and I had great difficulty just keeping the task in mind.
«[The personal saint] comes to your thoughts not from chance. Later, write down these thoughts of him and examine them for evidence of unfinished business and acts yet to be placed into motion.»
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 24 – Continue”
When I dripped the cedarwood oil into the bowl of the hot oil warmer, I didn’t hear anything unusual from the bowl. When I held the tarot card over the oil warmer to collect the scent and withdrew it, I noticed the card face was covered in splatter. I wiped the splatter off with my leg so the paper of the card would not warp before adding more water to the bowl.
That area of skin felt unusually cool for the rest of the ritual. After saying the summoning words, I was suddenly drowning in a deep wave of lethargy and drowsiness. It would be easy to say “something’s happening”, but the previous two days were filled with sixteen hour work days and maybe five hours of sleep in between.
However, magic is the process that turns a nudge into a push, so who am I to say, right?
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 23 – Check-in”
Despite trimming the candle wicks almost too short, they still ran with vigor. Twice, even! This is a different brand of candles than what I had been burning before. I’m still collecting the dripped wax just the same.
All else went without incident until I spoke the summoning words and tried to immediately visualize a scene. A massive pressure squeezed my head until I stopped trying to visualize anything. [Patient Caller’s] presence gently surrounded me then, with the greatest sense of his presence coming from the small table.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 22 – Hands”
Some days the chamber does not appear to darken and deepen when speaking the rede words. Some days it does. I will admit to being thrilled when it does even though I am very much aware that it is an illusion, and probably one of my own making.
The closing of my eyes after speaking the words are a constant. And today there were no images or words that heralded the onset of the vision. Instead, there was only his presence, as if we were seated in the same room but in different areas. We sat in that silence for what felt like a long time.
So of course, I had to be a brat about it.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 21 – Repose”
I spent the rest of yesterday taking care of needed chores and playing variations of three notes on the guitar. I spent the rest of yesterday taking a much needed break from “the woo” as much as I was able to.
When I finally came back to the table for this morning’s obligation and summoning, I kept my purpose for summoning [Patient Caller] firmly in mind. It was my fault that I had not set boundaries on him, so of course he would use every tool available to bring about a solution that met the spoken requirements. Not his fault I hadn’t mentioned any necessary restrictions.
So when I finally did summon him, I should not have been surprised to hear something new. “Let there be no hostility between us.”
However, as I type this post up at the end of the day, I am still not sure who said it.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 20 – Cushion”
Good: I bought a guitar. A cheap student model, tested in the store by the staff to make sure any terrible sounds were all my fault, along with a case, a digital tuner, and a set of self-instruction lessons. I completely grok what the spirit meant by having a hobby that can capitalize on the focus I tend to give. Once home, I spent an hour repeating the same three notes in various ways as the lesson required, just happy to have closed one loop from my childhood at last.
Bad: The chaplets didn’t get made. I tried. Oh, how I tried. This isn’t the first set of beads on a string I’ve put together, and the most complicated knot in the entire thing was the square knot that started it off. Thirty-three beads and the jump ring for a pendant. How hard could that be? Took me two hours and several false starts just to get to the end knot for the first chaplet. Only to find at the end that a critical error meant undoing the entire string and starting over.
Ugly: Realizing I had been played. There were words said to me last night, by way of a trusted third party over a private social media channel, as I was struggling with knots and layouts and cord that kinked as I looked at it and beads that slipped no matter how dry my fingers. Words that threw the whole matter of the chaplets into the mud. Words that caused me to doubt my reasoning and my will in the matter. I knew the desire for the guitar and the desire for the chaplets both had a common root, the desire to do something worthwhile. What was exposed last night was that I was potentially tying more than just knots with the chaplets, and I did not know what the fuck I was doing.
So the materials for the chaplets, the incomplete first chaplet, and all my fucks went straight into the trash.
Continue reading “Do Magick August ’18: Day 19 – Receipts”