Dream Journal: 2018-01-01

I have had the stone for a while. Esse, once called “The Svartalf” in my earlier writings, had claimed it to be a key for entering spaces he had set aside for me. But after I successfully took the doll back from him two years ago, I interacted less and less with him until by the second half of 2017, I had not interacted with him at all and I wondered if he was now relegated to the past.

Sorting through my things as I continue to settle in the new apartment, I found the stone in my collection of wooish objects. A thumb-sized piece of granite that was originally light gray when I first found it, over the years it has darkened slightly from the handling. The seemingly smooth surface is unpolished allowing light to sparkle from the mica rich stone.

As I sat in my chair, reminiscing about the shenanigans stirred up (and put down) by Esse, I held the stone securely and thought of him. How much of the past will come with me? Continue reading “Dream Journal: 2018-01-01”

A Last Look at 2017

I started 2017 physically struggling but spiritually sound, and I am ending 2017 physically sound but spiritually struggling.

As of this post, it has been all of seven days since my daughter [Dter] and I moved out of the family home into our own apartment. If it were not for the influence of, instigation by, and inspiration from several key “spirits” in my life, our circumstances would have been much less pleasant than they ever had been before.

So to [Rummer John], and “Malphas”, and [Horatio], and [Pescado], and [Phillipus], and Socheniel, and [ThisWoman], and [Patient Caller], and “Mary”, and “Jehovah”, I give my thanks and acknowledgement for the actions you all have pushed, pulled, and dragged me through.

It’s not the close of a chapter, it’s the close of a book. And I am at a loss for words to begin the next volume with. Continue reading “A Last Look at 2017”

Dream Journal: 2017-12-03

While I was chilling at home with absolutely no fucks to be had or given, an acquaintance calls me. He’s participating in an on-site group ritual and their contracted seer called them with a last second extortion attempt raise in price that was above and beyond what the group was willing to pay. If I were to be paid the original amount (a sum that caught my attention for sure), would I be willing to drop everything and come over to be the seer for the night?

“Before I let my greed completely blind me… that’s a lot of goddamn money for a one-night show that’s not even guaranteed. What are you not telling me?” Continue reading “Dream Journal: 2017-12-03”

I Have A Feeling

I am less afraid of the signet ring I will have to obtain next year. Things are going as they go, but my god, how fast they are going!

Since my last update, I have had an angel get the drop on me to remind me that I am not forgotten and I am not forsaken.

I know this. It feels otherwise, but feelings are liars at times. Ask anyone in love. Continue reading “I Have A Feeling”

Do Magick: Postscript

It has been a complete week since my last “by the book” summoning of [Patient Caller]. And as I expected, my table has since been flipped. While what happened during the bounds of ritual time were completely unexpected and personally shocking, the implications of what [Patient Caller] said along with the steps I had to take to secure the time and privacy for ritual shone a spotlight on something I had accepted for far too long. Continue reading “Do Magick: Postscript”

Do Magick: Day 30 – Epilogue

What I’m confident I have learned in the past thirty days:

  • [Patient Caller] is not “a formal” grimoire spirit, but the format was necessary for me to get my head in the right space to deal with him.
  • It’s going to take a lot more than what I currently have to do any kind of serious grimoire or Solomonic work for any kind of result.
  • Fuck ups have little to no upfront cost. But that first payment is going to bite you in the ass for sure.
  • I can face my fears and no one can face them but me.

Despite being told plainly that the cord I had placed for him was useless, I laid it out anyway. It only took twenty-nine days to make it a habit. When he appeared, it was with slow deliberation. Scent being the only marker with both eyes open and eyes closed, then the false flame and smoke. The false smoke bending to coil around a suddenly appearing right little finger before flowing to smother and soak into the small amber piece. Nothing was said for a time. Continue reading “Do Magick: Day 30 – Epilogue”