Standing in the Forest

So. Dter and I have moved into our apartment, rescued all of our stuff, and are recovering from the physical and mental shenanigans required to do so in the three frantic days that followed last week’s declaration of independence from my family.

tl;dr = We’re okay.

Noxporium’s Etsy is going to remain on vacation mode until January 1st, 2018. I may resume the What Does The Deck Say series on Noxporium.com sooner. It depends on if I can quickly excavate my decks from the piles of stuff that I had never realized I had accumulated during my captivity. Not everything that was evacuated with me is going to stay. I no longer need distractors or tokens of obligations to keep me and Dter safe.

I know I have offended some of you by my sudden disappearance and lack of contact. Once I realized just how deep the debriding of this wound was going to be, I stopped trying to “dress the windows”. These past two months have been furious and unmaking. I found myself having to choose to keep up a pretty facade or actually work on my shit. I could either pretend everything was okay on social media and leak the mental strength I needed to deal with the offline bullshit, or close the tabs and make my life okay.

From where I physically am now, I take a deep breath without fear or anticipation of sorrow and/or retribution, and declare I have made the better choice.

I feel like I have been sleepwalking for decades and now I am starting the slow process of waking up. I know y’all have left messages for me. It’s going to take me a couple more days to get to them.

For the woo-inclined: Part of the moving preparations was introducing myself to whatever shenanigans were in the apartment first, stating my intent, and asking them if they required any bribes propitiation before the actual moving starts. One asked for “sweet smells”, and when I tried to suss out just what exactly it wanted, a series of events were set off that ended with Dragon’s Blood Trees being featured on my laptop’s screensaver. (And now you know what that one post was about.) The other asked for “a happy kitchen”. I didn’t get any clarification to what a happy kitchen entails until I cooked a meal that involved sauteing garlic and onion as an initial step. Long story made short: A “happy kitchen” is one where people are cooking with joy and/or contentment, and the smell of garlic and onion is the best smell ever.

I still haven’t finalized what is going to go where. There is still more furniture to get for the living room, and the personal desks that came with us sorely need to be replaced. But those are decisions that will be made in peace and with consideration.

We’re okay.