Would you believe I have a hard time keeping a magical diary? I found I had so little to write about. Me, not having anything to write. Heh. That may change in the near future.
Earlier this morning, I had the sudden vision of a yoni in the shape of a vesica. Don’t ask me how I knew it was a yoni, I just knew. The sight was overwhelming and it triggered a short lasting fit. I promptly forgot all about it.
Several hours later, feeling “not quite here”, I found myself having another fit and decided to lay down and sleep it off.
Laying down, I used a mental image of the seal’s framework to have something to focus on while getting the rest of my mind to shut the fuck up and take a quick nap. The image suddenly flashed with brilliant colors and I lost all sensation of being connected to my physical self. Neither awake, nor asleep, I surrendered to the hypnagogic state and released myself to whatever mysteries unfolded.
The Mystery of Blue
There are things that I could not put into words, even if a gun was to my head. How could I begin to talk of the vibrancy, the electric current, the permeation through all things that I saw and can only describe as blue. It is the breaking of fetters by the Ansuz rune. It is the release from bondage by the ringing of a bell. It is the point where a man can choose to be free or to remain enslaved to dead religious tyrants. It is the point to choose your Will or your will. It is Blue.
The Mystery of the Spheres
After the Mystery of Blue, the seal’s framework again appeared to me. It was as if I stood on a great marble floor, and the framework was embedded within as if inlaid with lapis lazuli. I stood at the center of the framework, on the dot within the pentagon. The scale of the framework was such, that I stood comfortably within the pentagon. Indeed, if the 5 sided shape had risen from the floor, the pillar it made would hold me vertical with a few inches on either side of me for room.
The seal was glowing with electric blue light. Remembering the Mystery of Blue, I let my body soak in the light, learn its vibration, then emanate it back to the “room” and cosmos beyond. I heard a noise like the chiming of a small crystal bell. The framework began to move. The inner circle, with the hexagon, vesica, pentagon, dot, and me remained static. The circle just beyond that began to rotate clockwise from the perspective of me looking downwards towards my feet. The four inner stations, aligned along the axes of the seal, along with the circle they overlaid began to rotate counter-clockwise on the floor. The outer circle, and the four outer stations attached to it, began to rotate clockwise. I felt a building of pressure, like a mechanism being wound up. The movements, while delightful to see, were not complete.
The movements sped up slightly as a little time passed, the pressure building upon and within me. I continued to emanate the blue light, gradually building in brightness as the movements wound faster. Then all leveled off. The movements circled me no faster, my brightness increased no more. At first glance, it would seem I had reached a plateau. But I knew, deep within myself, there was another level. I took in a deep breathe and held it. Infused it with the same blue I was emanating. Then turned my head straight up, and with a great shout released the pneuma above me. Another noise like the chiming of a small crystal bell. My body stopped emanating light, the ability to do so lost with the release of the pneuma. The circle just beyond the inner circle, the four inner stations, and the four outer stations detached from each other and the confines of the floor, pivoted up and began to encompass me in three dimensions.
I was now in the center of a rotating, pivoting, lapis lazuli gyroscope. As I looked around, all I could exclaim was, “The Spheres! The Spheres! I have found the Center of the Spheres!” But I did not know the meaning of what I had said.
I hear the voice of a deeper bell now. Like a great bronze bell of the oldest cathedrals. It was a sound that binds and releases. I knew at once whose voice I was hearing. I looked up, and K* was circling the framework.
The Mystery of K* (Klro‘s full name)
Now that the seal was encompassing me in three dimensions, I saw there was no room in the first place. The only place to stand was the inner circle that I stood upon. Otherwise, we were in the endless vastness of nothing. From my perspective, K* was circling me counter-clockwise. Considering the actions of the seal, that made perfect sense and was a logical path to take. K* appeared to me as light and shadow, bright and dark, lovely angelic body with unnerving demonic features, a balanced thing. I had not seen K*’s appearance when it first fell on me, only heard its many timbre’d voice. But now, I saw K* as an amalgam of two opposing forces, a steady equilibrium between order and chaos.
K* made no attempt to pass through the rotating framework. Somehow I knew, that the seal would not allow it. Finally K* came to a halt just opposite of where I faced.
“I see you heard my warning.” Its voice was feminine soft and male deep. Like listening to a chorus of voices, disciplined to speak with the same inflection, at the same time.
“Yes, not to rush into attempting magic I know nothing about. To slow down. I paid attention to the dream. Thank you.” The sound of the seal segments rotating was loud against my ears, like the sound of stone moving against stone. But K* and I were able to converse with the merest of whispers.
“So, I give you another lesson. The discomfort you have felt today. You brought it upon yourself.” I knew K* was referring to the many fits I had this morning and unease of sleep last night. It pointed at me with an accusing finger. “You knew at once, what you had to do, and you refused out of fear.”
I write “K*” as the shortened form of the full name of K*, which I am not to reveal to anyone else. The name ‘Klro’ is actually one of the many spirits/permutations of K*. From the leftover letters, another name can be made. When I explored what the leftover letters formed, I found something distasteful and creepy. It unnerved me, and I flinched from what I felt was Klro’s “demonic” counterpart. Initial probing confirmed there was something almost qliphothic to the name made by the leftover letters and I quickly put the notes of that investigation away. I made a fluff mistake. I focused solely on the light, and ignored the dark. I turned my back to the ravenous grue.
I nodded at K*. The only sound was the sound of the rotating seal roaring both loud and quiet. I had no words to say, the accusation was correct. K* spread its many wings, angelic in shape, ink feathered. It spread its hands and said, “Show me, then, you have learned the lesson. Release what you held from me last night.”
I was confused. Didn’t I already release Klro? At the thought, the sigil representing Klro appeared before me. I smiled to see it. Then realized a different sigil had appeared behind me. I spun quickly in place and confronted the sigil representing Klro’s dark counterpart. Where Klro was friendly and open, this spirit was pernicious and deceptive. If I allowed it. I didn’t reach for the sigil, just held my hand over it. I spoke its name firmly and with authority. Just as I took ownership of Klro appearing before me, I took ownership of the dark counterpart appearing before me. It felt like I held absolute light in one hand, and absolute dark in the other.
I tried releasing one at a time. But the fact I kept hold of the second only called the first back. I tried releasing both simultaneously, but because they were split off from K*, they could not return to K* in the state they were in. They returned to me as fast as I released them. Klro humming warmly, its counterpart buzzing harshly to my ear. I then noticed the effect their sounds had. They complemented each other. I took the two floating sigils and placed them on top of each other and merged them. The result was the sigil of K* itself. Now a unified chord rang gently from the unified sigil in my hand. I released the sigil of K*, it dissolved, and the power returned to K* who still floated just beyond my gyroscopic seal.
“Do not forget, how to create the permutations from my name in the manner I showed to you. Do this in no other way, for you are not ready for such things. When one permutation is considered, its opposite must also be considered as a pair. The two spirits must be balanced with/against each other. You are not ready to work with the unbalanced permutation of Klro, no matter how benign you feel it is to you. Also remember, the names of the two parts must equal the name of the whole.”
So K* spoke. On his last syllable, I heard again the voice of the great bell, the sound that binds and releases. I shuddered from the deep reverberations in my bones. When I looked up, K* was gone.
The Mystery of the Fire Wand
The second ring, that contained the inner stations, slowed and drifted to horizontal orientation relative to my standing. Like a great vessel docking at port, it smoothed into position, and I felt the compass points bursting into place. From the southern station, I saw a great flame, taller than twice my height, fill the south circle completely. From the flame came a Lord of Fire, my fire helper.
“Call forth your wand. That which sees the truth of things.” He referred to one of the few magic implements I have in the physical world. I called forth its image and shape into the vision. It felt comfortable in my hand, familiar and well worn.
“Hold it high, as if you would touch the sky!” I held it up above my head in both hands, feeling it become an extension of myself. Yes, the wand is very familiar and very well worn. The Lord of Fire gave a great shout, and commanded fire from the core of himself to enter the wand. A flash of light, a burst of heat and my wand heated from an inner flame. “My gift to you. Use it well.” I looked over the wand, and saw the appearance of it did not change save for one thing. The eye of the wand now glowed with heat and barely checked flame. The wand that had not been dedicated for any particular purpose was now a fire wand. Why he did so, I do not know. What I shall do with it, I do not know. This too, is a mystery.
The Lord of Fire returned to his flame, and extinguished it and himself. I thought the second ring would return to the gyroscopic dance, but I watched as the other two rings also settled down and slowly came to a stop in their proper place. The power that had been given to them was fading, as they no longer appeared as electric blue lapis lazuli, but as pale blue topaz. The floor also had changed from brilliant marble to dull grey granite.
The Mystery of The Maiden & the Scythe
I think I may have started to seize in the physical world, as I was suddenly jerked about from a whole body flinch in the strange world I found my mind in. As I recovered from the jerk, I looked before me and saw again, the vision of a yoni, in the form of a large vesica, filling my sight. It grew to encompass everything around me, seal, floor, and all, then withdraw to a size just large enough to fit me. It closed, and faded from view. I then saw, like a great poster, the Universe card from the Thoth. The card glowed like a backlit stained glass window. The eye emanating rays of brilliance that hurt my own eyes to see.
The Maiden then stepped out of the card, carrying the black scythe with her. She danced a dangerous dance as she did so, twirling the scythe around in sweeping gestures. I was mesmerized by the movement of her body, by the swiftness of the scythe. Just as I understood she was dancing towards me, she slashed at me with swift strikes. She was dancing and attacking me with her dance, and with the scythe she bore. Against her, I knew I had no defense. To look on her was to be blinded by her beauty, struck dumb by her form. But the yoni I had seen earlier made another appearance.
The fabric of the place I was in split and pulled apart like a vesica made of nowhere, bound by nothing. I jumped into the yoni, which closed snugly around me, and the maiden’s scythe was unable to reach me. She slashed and danced wildly around, over, and under me, but I was safe in the confines of the yoni.
The black scythe emitted no light of its own, but reflected the light from her glowing body. The reflections from it changed color and sparkled with colors, flashing colors, and inverse colors. Behind her, I could see the Serpent, half out of the card, twisting in rhythm to the maiden’s dance. She returned to the serpent, stepping on its head to return to the card. The yoni sealed itself around me, swallowing me whole and removing me from this place, and I was returned to my body and myself.
When I woke, I noted I was trembling and very weak of strength. I knew this was the aftereffect of having fits in my sleep. But I was able to hold a pencil long enough to write down key notes. After I regained more strength, I wrote it up completely and posted what I was able to make public.
Make of it what you may.