Hi, I’m Keri, and against all notions of propriety, manners, grace, and self-preservation, I will be participating in another thirty days of the Do Magick challenge.
What. The. Hell. (right?)
To spare you the long version if this post is your first catch up with me since the June Do Magick challenge, lemme summarize the month of July: Everything sucks and I want to die.
However, since I have had it literally pounded into my head that I am not allowed to just go whenever I feel like it, I might as well keep up with obligations and promises. Like jumping into this month’s challenge including the daily log.
“Summon a spirit or a set of spirits for 30 days to transform an aspect of your life.”
Gee, the last time I did that, I wound up running away from home and starting my life over. Let’s see if this time, I can be convinced to stay.
For the challenge, I will be summoning the same “Patient Caller1” as I did for the month of September of 2017. At this time, I am not comfortable declaring what aspect of my life I want to change because I am too damn aware that what I perceive to be the problem may only be a symptom of the actual problem.
Why him? He’s comfortable and his requirements are very low. I am currently involved in a longer series of shenanigans that have taken up a good portion of the time I would have needed if I was going to go the “full ritual” summoning I attempted last year. Instead a much shorter ritual was negotiated between us that uses a tarot card as the medium between us, and it is that version that I will be starting out with.
Funny enough, that longer series of shenanigans involves my education and beginner’s involvement with Saint Cyprian, [Patient Caller’s] master, so my full ritual will be the regularly scheduled daily encounter with Saint Cyprian followed by the personal summoning of, and conversation with, [Patient Caller]. Why not take advantage of the protocol already in place, right?
After finishing the summoning challenge in September of last year, I wrapped up all the tools and packed them away. After the move, I checked them to make sure that they survived those three whirlwind days then packed them all up again and stowed them away. Yesterday I wrote out my initial plans for the morning, made sure my alarm clock was set early enough, then went to sleep and promptly slept through the first alarm.
I woke on the second alarm but laid in bed for several minutes too long reevaluating if going through this challenge was a wise idea considering I am already severely stressed by other actual challenges in and of my life.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
I actually stuck to the plan this morning. After my encounter with Saint Cyprian was complete, I kept the candles on the table lit and laid out the Hierophant card from Tavaglione’s Stairs of Gold tarot deck facing me. On the center of the card I placed the small hand polished amber that had served as the spirit’s stone and focus from the previous series of summonings. I placed it on the card as if to seat it on the figure’s throne with the polished side facing me.
The shades of the room was already drawn so the only light source was from the two taper candles on the table. (I hesitate to call it an altar. The space wasn’t dedicated to Saint Cyprian. Stuff for him and for use with him just kinda… migrated there.) I sat back and enjoyed the sight of the candle light reflecting off the statue. I noted that I had placed the amber piece just right so that the light from the candles reflected off the other items on the table and fell on the amber piece from behind. It appeared to glow as if from an inner light.
“I haven’t even started yet and already you’re up to some shit. Geeze.”
I realized I was stalling but I did not realize why. I figured the worst that could happen was that my life would be shook up again. Considering how low I was feeling, I failed to see that as something to be afraid of. I started the stopwatch app on my phone, turned it over to hide the screen from even accidental glances, clasped my hands together before the table, and picked up where I left off.
“In the name of the great, mighty, and powerful God and by the influence and command of Saint Cyprian, your master, I charge you, [Patient Caller], to remember the promise you made to me.”
I opened my hands and held them over and beside the amber and card on the table.
“Rede, rede, rede in pace. [Patient Caller], appear to me.”
I would like to say that the candles suddenly sputtered, or that I felt an unseen hand wash over my face, or that the amber suddenly did glow with an unnatural light, but alas, nothing happened with me watching intently for anything to happen.
I sighed and closed my eyes. I might as well take advantage of the setting sit quietly and peacefully for a while.
Just as I had accepted that nothing was going to happen, two strong hands gripped my shoulders. As I jerked in surprise, the hands kept me from flailing. The owner of the hands completed kneeling behind me and leaned over my right shoulder.
I turned my head and saw [Patient Caller] smiling at me before turning his attention to the table. «Look at that. Why, it’s very close to the dream! You’re in an apartment, the Saint Cyprian’s statue is on a low table with candles [and stuff], my token is present, and you are at peace before it! All you need is cake to celebrate!»
I stared at him mutely for a few seconds. He felt physically present. His body blocked sounds and the cloth from his intensely green robes tickled the back of my arm. “And twelve angels to help me eat it. The two I know are more than enough, thank you. Aren’t you supposed to be connected to the amber? How are you so damn vivid? Did I fall asleep? Why are you so tactile? Usually being depressed means I’m blind to the spirits. Also… huh?”
He looked back at me. «The light of my master’s candles burns very bright, don’t you agree? And in such bright light, anything he wishes to be seen, will be seen clearly. The matter of your spiritual blindness is not always a matter of inability or circumstance.» He faced the table again. His face softened such that his appearance started to fade.
He began to speak and his image sharpened into solidity again. «Why have you summoned me? Have you the ring?» He continued to grip my shoulders with a fierce and unwavering intensity, as if the presence of my body was the source from which he drew the material for his apparition.
“No, I don’t and you already know that, dammit. Though I have no excuses why. However, that is part of why I’ve summoned you. To be honest, I’m using this to fulfill two promises. One, that I’ll try to keep going, and two, that I’ll take up and fulfill a challenge to summon a spirit every day for a month with intent to improve some aspect of my life. So, here I am, back on my bullshit again.”
He gripped my shoulders tighter. «The ring. As I have been tasked, so have you.»
“Help me survive the damn month. [The year was full of unforeseen expenses that precluded me from even looking at gold rings, much less a carved signet ring.] Unless I get one helluva financial windfall, it’s not going to happen this calendar year. But if you want to see it at all, I gotta survive the month.”
His grip relaxed some but he continued to hold on to my shoulders. He looked over the table again with an obviously critical eye. «Then your education continues.»
“Yes. My education continues.”
«Here then is the first lesson in this new series: When you require a spirit to appear, make room for that spirit. You have [this] and [that] on the table, both of which are suitable [for the purpose of manifesting a spirit], and yet you still expected me to appear before you as before. Where? In the wall? Shall I appear to whoever sleeps beyond it, then?»
Welp. When he has a point, he drills it deep. If I doubted the spirit’s identity before, I had no doubts now.
«The Hierophant card will always be required unless you use the initial ritual as before. My polished amber, not so much. Your bullshit requires refinement. I will help you, tomorrow. Be prepared to devote more time to your lessons.»
He released my shoulders and disappeared. With a gasp I opened my physical eyes and found I had not moved from the meditative position I had settled in. I immediately flipped over the phone and stopped the stopwatch. The amount of time that actually passed and the amount of time that I experienced differed by an unsettling amount.
Now that my eyes were open, I also noted the difference in perceived light and ambiance of the room. When my eyes were closed and I was caught up in vision, the room was awash with an amber glow, as if the interior of the room was inside the amber piece.
I noted that I did not give him license to depart. I wondered if that was because of Cyprian’s candles having been lit prior to calling him and/or because I called him in the name of Saint Cyprian.
I jotted down my questions in my notes and reflected on the experience. If this is what it takes to keep me going, let’s go.
Total time: Eight
unbelievable minutes. (Only counting that portion involved in summoning [Patient Caller].)
1 To this day I remain wary of using the name of the spirit as given initially by Birto and confirmed by the spirit himself. There’s nothing revealing or binding by it, and the spirit has never said not to share it. I guess I have had so much stolen from me already that I want to hoard as much as I can now.